When film makers want to deceive you into believing a sequel is a new movie, they like to use little words in the title to redirect your focus, somehow convincing you that it will be a fresh look at old characters. Most sequels will use creative subtitles and jam a little colon between the two, which will typically provide some sort of rundown or summary of the plot. Blade: Trinity does neither. Trinity, for those non-religious types means 'three'. For Blade, save for there being 3 main characters, the word Trinity does nothing but reveal that it's a third movie, that likely should have been stereotypically staked before pen stroked paper.

Wesley Snipes returns as the hybrid day-walking vampire, inwardly troubled and outwardly slaying blood suckers across the world with an arsenal that would make that 'other' Trinity jealous. A raggedy Kris Kristofferson returns as Blade's aging partner and mentor, Whistler. New faces include Whistler's illegitimate daughter, hottie Jessica Biel and Van Wilder himself Ryan Reynolds clearly the comic relief. Parker Posey appears as Danica, a dirty little vampire vixen who helps to revive the first of their kind...yeah, Dracula. Lame.

Here's how things boil down. Blade and Whistler are busy doing what they do, eliminating the vampire threat as best they can, sometimes one vamp at a time, whatever it takes. On the other side of the world, a vampire clique has discovered the whereabouts of the original vampire in a Sumarian tomb. As it turns out, Dracula was just taking a nap and was surprisingly easy to wake. The idea is to send this buffed up movie cliche out to kill Blade and rid the world forever of the slayer. In addition, they want to know Dracula's secret, now known as Drake, because like Blade, he too is able to survive in sunlight.

Beyond having a few hundred plot holes big enough to drive a semi through, the movie was just laughable. Most of the time I felt like I either paid 10 bux for a 2 hours long Apple I-Pod commercial or I was stuck in a loop of Rambo gearing up, 20 minutes worth of watching characters strap on guns, knives and various vampire slaying weapons, topping it off with the signature I-Pod headphones...no joke.

In the end, none of the new characters were fleshed out very well. The action was present but certainly nothing new. Blade, known for being succint and blunt ends up having way too much dialogue as if he's opening up his subconscious to a psychiatrist. The blazing ashy effect of each vampire's demise, unique to this series ends up being overused and boring as does the idea that even Blade sometimes needs help. There's simply too many storylines, too much blabber and not enough focus to make for a good action movie. A few good laughs, such as a vampire pomeranian pooch, prevent this from being completely undead, but laughter is out of place and uncharacteristic for this genre.